My Weight Loss Journey

For everyone who has ever thought: "It can't be done" ... "It's too hard" ... "I have too much to lose" ... or "It'll never work" ... I want to tell you IT CAN. It is HARD, but you CAN lose it, and it WILL work. If you just try and don't give up. We all have to start somewhere...

I started this weight loss journey over two years ago. Well at least the final attempt. I have struggled with my weight ever since I was in Jr. High. I didn't have a weight problem... I had a self-image problem. I was tiny. I probably only weighed 100lbs or so, but I had what my family affectionately refers to as "The Hampton Hips" and "The Bernard Butt" !! I was a little bitty thing with a tiny waist, muscular legs and a butt! I can pinpoint the moment in my life when weight came to the forefront of my thinking. It was Jr. High P.E. I never thought I was fat or had any issue with my thighs or my butt until a girl in my PE class called me "fat ass." I cried. Wrong thing to do because she continued to pick on me for months after that and make comments about my thighs and my "ass." It gave me a complex.


 I had been a dancer since I was seven. I had muscular legs and a muscular 'bubble butt.' But at this point in my life when fitting in was so important, I thought something was wrong with me. I was so naive. The weight issue continued through High School. I remember being about 115lbs most of my HS years and I thought I was so fat. I HATED the days when I had to wear my cheer uniform to school. I was about 130lbs when I graduated HS and I remember on graduation day feeling so fat. I look back at those pictures from HS now and realize I was NOT fat. I had a terrible self-image. That's all.
I did finally fulfill my own self-image and actually get FAT. After getting married and having three babies, I WAS fat! And miserable. I have dieted my entire adult life. I had tried water pills, diet pills, counting calories, cutting calories, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, liquid diets, cabbage soup diets... None of it worked. Do you know why? I wasn't strong enough mentally to stick with it...to put in the time and effort necessary to make the changes I so desperately wanted to make.

I can't tell you what finally changed. I don't know what finally "clicked" inside me to allow me to stick with it. I don't have any magical answers and sure-fire "how to's" to change the way you think, but I know I did start changing the way I think. I turned my "cant's" into "cans." I started focusing on the journey instead of the goal. I started enjoying working out and how it made me feel. I started enjoying running instead of hating it. I started seeing results on the scale and in my clothes... and then there was that glorious day when I actually saw the results in the mirror of the dressing room as I zipped up my first pair of size 6 jeans... and cried.

This is a journey. There is no finish line. I will not ever stop. I will not ever reach a point of satisfaction or contentment to say "I've arrived." No, this is a journey I will continue for the rest of my life. It has become a part of me. The scale says what I'd like it say. The size of my jeans are even smaller than a 6 now. But I'm not "done." I won't ever be done. If I just stop because I reached my goal then I have defeated the purpose; I have defeated the effort and the results WILL NOT last if I give up.

I began this journey in March of 2011. At that point in my life I weighed about 175 lbs. That was a lot of weight on this 5'2" frame! I didn't feel as big as I look in this picture but I was definitely unhappy. I was miserable. I hated everything about my body. The ONLY thing I like about myself was probably my hair... and my feet ;) At the motivation of my best friend I decided to start running. We both wanted to lose weight and it was time to get serious. We found a 5K to work towards and my efforts were focused more on the fitness and training and preparing for a run that I was not in shape for.  I changed the way I was eating and began counting calories. I bought a 'bodybugg' so I knew what I was expending. I had it down to a science and the weight slowly began to come off.

By mid April when we did the Mud Run 5K, I was down to 157. I finished the run, obstacles and all, and felt amazing! I was so proud of myself for the accomplishment. It was the first time I had ever done anything like that and I caught a bug. I was hooked!

I continued the running and fell in love with it. As the weather got warmer I began running outside and found so much peace and fulfillment in my evening runs. My favorite time of day to run is right before sunset. I love to run into the sunset... light shining on my face.. and watch the sun takes it's last breath and dip away quietly for the night. I would come back from a run exhausted but content.

By July of that year I had lost 40 lbs. and I was feeling GREAT! I bought a cute little 2-pc polka dot bikini and felt the most confident I had ever felt in a swim suit. I was completely comfortable taking off my shorts at the beach and walking down to the waters edge without wanting to cover myself. I was still living on the out-skirts of "Cottage Country," but the lumps and bumps were fading and muscle was taking it's place.

I saw results everywhere. I was pleased with the definition I was seeing in my arms. My "bingo" arms were disappearing. (You know... the flabby skin under the arm that keeps waving even after you've stopped!) I was beginning to see abs appear! I was getting a 4-pack! I wasn't quite at the 6-pack yet.. those lower abs are tricky, but there was definitely muscles appearing at the top of my abdomen.

I maintained the weight loss through the winter and stuck with the workouts, though I have to admit I did slow down a bit.  I didn't put on the usual "winter sweater" of 10 lbs. like I used to but I had lost some stamina and muscle definition over the winter.  Once spring hit, I was right back at it. Back in the gym and back to running.  I had new motivation though.  I had signed up for my first half marathon!  The run was in June and I was determined to complete it!  I began training for the half marathon and focused on the endurance more than my weight.  I was still at about 40 lbs. loss but I felt good.

This fall something clicked inside me again. I still wasn't happy with my body. I had lost a bunch of weight and was wearing a size 6 jeans and feeling pretty good... but I didn't like certain parts of my body. I was still on the out-skirts of "Cottage Country" and wanted to leave there for good!


I began incorporating leg days into my gym routine and I signed up for another half marathon. It was going to be my 40th birthday present to myself. Not only did I want to finish, this time I wanted to beat my previous time. I began training hard and pushing myself. I started counting calories again and more weight came off. I hit the 50 lb milestone in mid November.

I am more pleased than I have ever been with my body. I am well on my way to having the body I have always wanted. I didn't give up when I hit plateaus. I didn't give up when I would gain a few pounds. I didn't give up when I still didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I stuck with it and will continue to. It's not over. I'm not done. It's a journey...